


Even When Seasons Change

by buttsp8jr



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AFAB Gabriel, Age Difference, Also they are all really bloody old at the time, Asexual Castiel, Asexual Sam Winchester, Demiromantic Castiel, Description of bad injuries, High School until old age, Hospitalisation, John is the biggest Dick in excistence, M/M, Mentioned suicide, Surgery, There is major character death but it's really sappy and not really sad., Trans Gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 16:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3817555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttsp8jr/pseuds/buttsp8jr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being attacked by his father Sam moves in with the Novak brothers to stay away from him.</p>
<p>Sharing a room with his way-too-old-for-him crush may be an added bonus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fall

**Author's Note:**

> So here is my entry for the Supernatural Asexual Mini Bang.
> 
> I'd like to thank my beta [Enochiansubtext](http://enochiansubtext.tumblr.com) and my artist [Stormbrite](http://stormbrite.tumblr.com) who's work for this can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3721489) | [here](http://stormbrite.livejournal.com/4139.html)
> 
> Note: Dean is only 2 years older than Sam in this, I had my reasons for doing it like this.

RIIIINGGG….RIIIINNGGG……..RIIIIIIINGGGGG

“Who the fuck is calling at three in the morning. CAAAAS!! GET THE FUCKING PHONE”. Disturbing Gabriel’s sleep was never a good idea.

Cas got out of bed and walked over to the phone. He didn’t really want to, but he knew that battling with his brother was pointless. He really hoped the call was important enough to deal with Gabriel in the state he would undeniably be in in the morning.

*click* “Hello, this is Castiel, how may I help you?” Cas preferred formality when he was talking over the phone, even at 3am. Well actually he preferred formality all the time, except around his closest friends.

“Eh…” Cas could clearly hear that the voice on the other end belonged to Dean, but his voice still seemed… _different_ …vulnerable maybe?

“Dean? What’s going on?”

Cas could hear Dean swallow. He sounded nervous - something was definitely wrong - but Cas didn’t want to ask, because he knew Dean wouldn’t say anything he wasn’t comfortable with.

“Could…Do you…Can…eh…Could...Could me and Sammy stay at...at your place for a few days?”

Cas was inclined to ask why, but it wouldn’t do any good, and the vulnerability in his best friend’s voice was heart breaking.

“I have to ask Gabriel first.” Cas really wanted to just take them in, but he couldn’t do it without asking his brother.

Dean audibly swallowed before replying. “Okay” His voice was low, barely a whisper. It sounded as though he was on the edge of tears.

“I’ll be right back”

Cas practically ran into Gabriel’s room, rousing him from the sleep he had just fallen into. “WHAT?!?!”

Cas fiddled his thumbs; he didn’t know how to convince Gabriel. He ended up speaking really quickly. “It’s-Dean-I-think-something-might-be-really-bad-he-asked-if-he-and-Sam-could-stay-a-while-can-they?”

Despite his tiredness, it seemed Gabriel understood what Cas was asking. “Sure, whatever. Let ‘em, they can stay forever for all I care.”

Cas knew his brother well enough to look through his façade. He pretended he didn’t really care, but he actually cared about the Winchesters quite a lot, especially Sam.

Cas walked back to the phone and picked it back up. “Dean?”

“Cas” there was relief in Dean’s voice, it was unmistakable, but it was quickly replaced with uncertainty when he continued. “What did he say?”

“He said it’s fine, you can stay as long as you want.”

The sigh of relief Cas heard from Dean brought a smile to his face. He loved pleasing Dean.

“Thank you…thank you so much. This really means a lot, thank you.”

“No problem. When…when will you be here?” Cas expected it to be as soon as possible. He didn’t expect what Dean said next though.

“”We’re…ehm…we’re…kinda standing outside your house right now.”

Cas heard movement behind him and saw Gabriel, fully dressed, emerging from his bedroom. “So when’s Sambo and Dean-o coming?” Cas could hear the concern under Gabriel’s carefree exterior, but he didn’t comment on it.

“They’re outside, I was about to open up for them.”

“Nah, let me, you can get the spare mattresses and figure out how to arrange this whole thing. This house isn’t exactly large enough for 4, and you’re a lot more logical than me.”

Cas could see the sense in what Gabriel was saying, but he also wanted to let them in himself. Before he had time to think though, Gabriel was by the front door, and Castiel figured that he might as well go get the mattresses.

-o-O-o-

The first thing Gabe noticed when he saw Sam and Dean was the way they were standing. Sam, despite being almost as tall as his brother, was hiding his face in Dean’s chest, and Dean was allowing it. Something was definitely very wrong.

“Hiya chuckleheads, welcome the Novak Mansion.” Gabe had his smirk on; he was trying to mask just how concerned he was for the 2 brothers.

“Hi Gabe, thank…thanks for this”

“No problem Dean-o. So, you wanna get inside or not?” Gabe quirked an eyebrow.

Dean took the hint and led Sam inside. When they walked past Gabe he saw a shine of red at Sam’s neck. _Blood._

Gabe felt a desperate urge to both take Sam into his arms and try to comfort him, and  figure out who hurt him and give them a piece of their own medicine. He decided to pretend he didn’t see it, and let Sam come to him at his own pace.

Gabe closed and locked the door behind himself after Dean and Sam was inside. He noticed that they didn’t have anything packed.

“So, our house isn’t exactly the biggest as you can tell, so Cas is currently figuring out the sleeping arrangements”. As he said it Cas came walking out from the bedrooms

“Ah, speak of the devil! Sooooo…who’s sleeping where?”

“I put one mattress in each mine and Gabriel’s bedrooms. There wasn’t enough space in the living room. I guess you can decide who sleeps where.“

Cas was looking at Dean, of course he was. If Dean was in the room Cas couldn’t look at anything else. His crush was so obvious, Gabe was stunned that Dean seemed unaware of it.

“Eh…” Dean didn’t know what to say. Gabe could understand. He wanted to protect Sam, so he didn’t want anyone to share with him, but he also didn’t want to push anyone out of their room. That was how Dean Winchester functioned, trying to be good to everyone.

“You can share with Cas.” That was the first Sam had spoken since they arrived. His voice was hoarse, like it had been used too much. Crying, screaming, yelling, Gabe didn’t know, but it made him slightly clench his fists. He hated seeing Sam like this. He hated seeing him in any other state than happy and carefree.

“Are you sure?” Gabe felt like he should be insulted by the distrustful look Dean gave him, but he wasn’t. Of course Dean was worried about his 15-year-old brother sharing with the 19-year-old trickster, who was too secretive about his supposed sex life…and not that good at hiding that he found the kid attractive. (Though in reality it wasn’t as much about the way he looked, more about everything else, but no one had to know that. Not the the kid wasn’t hot, but he was still a kid.)

“I’m sure.” Sam leaned his head back and looked at Dean. Gabe could see more of his injuries now and it made his skin crawl. Whoever had the audacity to do that to Sam deserved to go to hell. Or worse. Definitely worse.

Dean hesitated for a moment. “…okay”. Even from looking at the back of his head Gabe could tell that Sam was smiling. This prompted a small smile from Dean as well.

Gabe clapped his hands together. “Great! Let’s get you guys something to sleep in. You made their beds right?” The last question was directed at Cas who gave a nod in return. “Good. Now, Cassie, go through your closet and see if you’ve got anything for them to sleep in. Mine isn’t gonna work very well.” Dean gave a small chuckle at that.

“Yeah, right” Cas replied when he got out of his Dean trance. Gabe almost wanted to laugh at how taken Cas was with Dean, but it really wasn’t the situation for it.

Cas walked towards his bedroom. Gabe noticed that Sam said something to Dean, but he couldn’t figure out what. Dean mouthed something back at him, and Sam nodded.

“Hey! Cas!” Dean called out. Cas turned around and gave a look for Dean to continue. “I’ll join you.”

“Okay, Dean.”

Gabe couldn’t figure out if the smile on Cas’ face was heart-warming or disgustingly cute.

After Dean and Cas left, Gabe was left with Sam.

“So…kiddo. Eh…what d’you wanna do?” He didn’t know what to say. How could he know what to say? Sam had just been attacked, and he didn’t know anything. He wanted to know, he wanted to make sure Sam was okay, and he wanted to brutally torture whoever was behind it, but he didn’t want to push. He didn’t want to risk Sam closing up on him, on never saying anything.

Sam turned to look at Gabe. His face was a mess. Gabe couldn’t see any clear skin, it was all cuts and bruises and blood. _A lot of blood._ The cuts were made by a knife, or something sharp, and the bruises were made by someone really strong. Gabe also had a feeling the rest of his body was just as bad. He wanted to cry, or just take Sam in his arms and never let go, never let anyone hurt him again.

Gabe didn’t manage to keep the shock of his face. He swallowed nervously, not knowing what to say. Sam gave him a small smile, the kind of smile that would normally make his heart melt, but now just looked completely out of place.

“I could use some help cleaning up, and…you know…getting some bandages.” Sam looked really uncertain as he spoke, and his voice confirmed his discomfort.

“Sure kiddo, we’ve got a pretty big first-aid-kit. It’s in the bathroom. Just wait ‘til Cassie and Dean-o come back so you can have something to wear.”

“Okay, thanks. That’s…that’s great.” Now Sam’s smile looked better. Gabe realized it was because he actually meant it; he smiled with his eyes.

Dean came back without Cas soon afterwards. He was carrying a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

“Woah, those Cas’? I didn’t know he had sweatpants.”

“I made him buy them last year. He’s worn them one time, you were at work.” Dean tried to say it jokingly, but he failed when he looked at Sam.

“Here you go, Sammy. I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with Cas…you know…so he’s…still in his bedroom.”

Sam smiled at Dean. It was a small smile, though Gabe wasn’t sure he was physically able to smile bigger.

“It’s okay.” Sam reached out to grab the clothes.

Dean handed them over. “Do you need any help with…cleaning up?”

“No, it’s fine. Gabriel will help, you go to bed.”

“Sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“…Okay.”

It was easy to tell that Dean was reluctant, but he went to Cas’s bedroom anyway.

“If there had been anyone but Cas in there he wouldn’t have gone.” Gabe smirked at that. It was nice to know that Sam was able to joke.

“I have no doubt about that.”

“It’s kinda sad really…they’re so taken by each other, and they’re the only ones who can’t tell.” That really was the sad thing. Gabe had lost count a long time ago on how many times he’d just wanted to smack their heads together, or lock them in a closet, or something. They’d known each other for three years. Cas had had a crush for at least two of those years, and Dean probably all three. It was getting frustrating.

“You’re right about that. Now…shall we get you cleaned up?”

“Yeah…I guess we should…” Sam seemed less sure of himself now. Gabe figured the

best thing right now was to simply tell the truth.

“You know…I really do want to know what happened. But if you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to, I won’t ask. If you want to talk, you tell me and I’ll talk, no matter what.” He really did mean it. He’d probably go to the ends of the earth to keep Sam happy.

“Thanks Gabriel, I really appreciate that.” And Gabe could tell that Sam really meant that.

-o-O-o-

“You’re lucky we’ve got a large first aid kit”

Sam thought large might be a bit of an understatement. Ginormous might be more appropriate. It was probably 2x3 feet and 1 foot tall. Who had first aid kits that large?

Gabriel fished into it and pulled out a lot of bandages, some ointment, a huge pad of Band-Aids, and some other things Sam didn’t recognize.

“It’s a…habit, I guess, to get a lot of first aid equipment from -” Gabriel froze for a second before he mumbled. ”Never mind”

Gabriel didn’t seem too eager about telling more, so Sam didn’t ask. Sam didn’t know what had happened to Gabriel or Cas before they moved to Lawrence. All he knew was that they’d run away from home. Gabriel was 16 at the time, and Cas was 14. Despite their age they managed to get a place to live. Gabriel got a job, and they’d had some money. Dean had said that they’d stolen it from their parents, who were apparently really rich. Like, unbelievably rich.

“You kinda need to take your clothes off if I’m gonna help you with this.”

Sam could feel the embarrassment in his cheeks, dammit. Gabriel saw him flush if his smirk was anything to go by.

“Not the ideal way to get your clothes off, I’ll admit, but it’ll have to do.” Gabriel said it with a quirked eyebrow

Sam felt sure his face was completely red now. Why did he have to have a crush on a guy that was too old for him, completely out of his reach, and flirted with everything that moved?

Despite his embarrassment, he started removing his clothes. He wasn’t wearing as many layers as usual, since it was too painful. All he was wearing a jacket and a shirt underneath it.

“Ehhh…I’m not…I…it was too painful…” Sam was mumbling, he knew it, but he couldn’t quite get himself to speak properly either. And speaking to his own chest wasn’t helping much either.

“I’m not a mind reader kiddo.” Even though Sam wasn’t looking at him, he could still imagine Gabriel raising his eyebrow.

“I’m-not-wearing-any-underwear” Sam blurted.

If Sam had been red before, it was nothing compared to this.

When he looked up Gabriel’s face was frozen, his mouth shaping a ‘o’.

“Oh. Just…just leave your pants on for now.We’ll...we’ll figure out something later.”

“Okay” Sam looked down again.

Sam removed his shirt to show off all his cuts. He already knew it was bad, but Gabriel’s expression confirmed it.

He had a large gash across his chest, which was what Gabriel was looking at. Sam looked down at his chest and saw that he was covered in bruises. He knew it was bad, he had been the one getting beat up, but he wasn’t aware it was quite that bad. He could barely see any clear skin, it was all either cuts or bruises. He felt like he was gonna throw up.

“Kiddo? You okay?”

Sam shook his head. He couldn’t speak. The memories of what had happened came flooding back: why it had happened, and the possible consequences it had for the future, all at once. He could feel his chest tightening. His breathing started to speed up.

“Sit down”

Gabriel’s voice was gentle, calming. Sam liked it, but it felt weird too. There was no humor, no joke in it. Just concern, concern for Sam. Sam liked it. He realized he hadn’t been moving when Gabriel put a hand on his shoulders and led him to the toilet to sit down. The toilet cover was already down for some reason, and Sam felt really happy about that. His breathing was still quick, but he was calming down a bit. When he looked up at Gabriel his eyes were full of concern.

“You okay?”

Sam nodded.

“Okay” Gabriel didn’t sound entirely convinced, but he didn’t prod. “I’m gonna start with the worst first, then I’ll move to the less serious stuff afterwards, okay?”

Sam nodded; he still couldn’t get his voice to work.

Gabriel got a cotton pad and put something on it. Sam guessed it was something to clean wounds with.

“This is gonna hurt, but it’ll keep infections out. Are you okay with that?”

Sam nodded again, but swallowed nervously. He didn’t know if he could take it, but he really didn’t want to get an infection and have a large nasty scar across his chest.

Sam could tell by the way Gabriel was looking at him that he knew exactly what was going on his mind, or almost exactly at least.

“I’ll be gentle.”

Sam believed him. It was the tone of his voice, the concern in his eyes, and the fact that Sam trusted Gabriel anyway.

Gabriel put the pad on the edge of the large gash and Sam hissed in pain. It wasn’t as bad as he’d feared, but it was still painful.

Gabriel quickly jabbed the pad away and looked up at Sam. “You okay with me continuing?”

Sam nodded, but kept his teeth clenched. Gabriel reluctantly went back to work.

The pain became easier after a while, and soon Gabriel had cleansed the whole wound.

He took some strips from the stuff he’d pulled out of the first aid kit and started applying them to the cut.

“I’m waiting with the bandages until I’ve cleaned up everything, but these will help it close quicker.” he explained

Afterwards Gabriel started doing the same to every cut. After Sam got used to the pain he started to enjoy it. Gabriel’s hands were gentle, caring. It felt nice. His breathing had calmed down without him even realizing it.

“You’re doing great kiddo. I’m done with your chest, so I need you to turn to the side so that I can work on your back, okay?”

Gabriel was looking at him. He had such care in his eyes.

“Okay” His voice was hoarser than it had been earlier.  It was the first Sam had spoken since he removed his shirt. Gabriel didn’t mention it, just got to work as soon as Sam had turned into the desired position.

Sam decided to say something. The silence was unbearable.

“I want to tell you what happened. But…not now. Maybe…maybe afterwards.” He really did, it was just difficult to get the words out.

“No pressure, okay? Tell me when you’re ready, and if you’re never ready, you never tell me.” Gabriel’s voice was riddled with so much concern, it made Sam’s heart break. He like Gabriel’s voice a lot better when it was joking and happy.

“I think I’ll be ready afterwards.” More he hoped he’d be ready afterwards, but he didn’t voice it out loud

“Okay, but you’re allowed to change your mind.”

Gabriel was finished cleaning the wounds on his back now, and went to get something from the kit. It was another tube.

“This will help the bruises heal.”

Sam gave a slight nod. “Okay.”

Applying the ointment was quick. Gabriel was careful to go around the wounds, but he seemed to have experience with it, seeing as how quickly he did it without messing up a single time.

When he was done he washed his hands and got the bandages and Band-Aids.

“You’ll need to stand up for this, or else I won’t be able to do a good job.”

Sam nodded while clenching his lips, before he got up and stepped out to the floor to give Gabriel some space to work with. He was worried he might pass out, but he seemed to hold it together at the moment.

Despite their age difference Sam was already several inches taller than Gabriel, yet he never felt like it. Especially not now.

“Can you lift your arms up for me?”

Sam lifted his arms and held them diagonally upwards. It hurt too much to lift them higher, so he hoped this was enough.

“That’s great kiddo.” Gabriel gave him a tiny smile before he got to work. He definitely had experience with this.

Holding his arms up became really tiring, and he could feel them starting to drop. Eventually holding them up became too painful. He tried to fold them behind his head, but that was worse, so he lowered his overarms, and folded his hands together behind his head. It helped a bit, but not much.

“I’ll be done soon, just a tiny bit longer.”

Gabriel was finished with the bandages, but he had to attach it properly and make sure everything was in order so that it wouldn’t fall off.

“You can take your arms down and sit down again while I cover the rest off your wounds.”

Sam sat down and Gabriel made quick work off the remaining cuts, mostly the ones on his face.

“All done. I don’t really have any…right size underwear you can borrow. We could buy some in the morning, but everything is closed right now. Do you…do you think you can handle the rest of the damage yourself?”

Sam thought about it, but the idea of having to clean up the remaining damage made him really sick, so he shook his head.

“Well…are you okay with…you know…letting me do it despite…you know?”

It was weird hearing Gabriel being insecure of himself, and it kinda put Sam to ease a bit. Sam considered the alternatives before he nodded. It was the best option, though not ideal, getting naked in front of his crush because of injuries. But he wasn’t gonna suffer because of it.

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

Sam unbuttoned his fly and only hesitated for a moment before dropping his pants to the floor. The gasp he heard from Gabriel told him that it was worse than he’d originally thought. He was too scared to look himself, so he closed his eyes.

“Holy fuck. That’s…that’s terrible.”

It really was bad then.

“I need to clean that. Are you okay with me…touching…there?”

Sam nodded. He wasn’t too happy about it, but the thought of doing it himself was worse.

“Okay, I’ll…I’ll do that first, since that’s…worst. Holy fuck kiddo, how are you still walking?”

Sam clenched his eyes harder.

“Sam, are you okay?”

Sam opened his eyes slowly, careful not to look down too much, and met with Gabriel’s worried eyes. Sam had always liked Gabriel’s eyes. The color was so beautiful, like sunshine through a glass of whiskey. Not that he’d ever say that out loud; Dean would never give it up.

Now though… Now there was no laughter, no spark, nothing but sadness and concern in Gabriel’s eyes. Sam hated it. He just wanted to see him happy, smiling. And knowing he was the cause for it made him like it even less.

“Sam?”

Sam realized he hadn’t answered the question and nodded. It wasn’t a convincing nod, he was sure of it, and Gabriel’s reaction proved that, but he got the required equipment anyway.

“I’m pretty sure we have an ointment for sensitive areas somewhere.” After some rummaging in the first aid kit he got out a small tube. “There we go. I should get a system in that thing, but I also can’t be bothered.” Sam tried a small smile at that, but he felt pretty sure his face just contorted itself.

Gabriel walked over to Sam and put some ointment on his fingers. Sam lifted his head up and looked away. “You sure you’re fine with this, kiddo?” Gabriel’s voice was low, full of concern and uncertainty.

“Yes, just…just get it over with.”

Applying the ointment was quick and went mostly without a hitch. It was pretty painful though, but considering what had happened it wasn’t surprising.

Gabriel got out one of the thinner bandages and starting wrapping it. He was very gentle, and Sam wasn’t having any ‘inappropriate responses’. Not that he ever had any ‘inappropriate responses’ to anything.

“The worst bits over, but I’m gonna need you to stand for the rest”

Sam opened his eyes that he hadn’t been aware off closing. He looked at Gabriel and saw that he was a bit flushed, though Sam guessed it was only natural after what he had done. Gabriel took a few steps back to give Sam some space to get up. He got up and walked to the middle of the room to make sure Gabriel had enough space to work with.

“God, kiddo, how the hell are you still walking with all those wounds?”

Sam shrugged. He knew why - he was used to it - but he wasn’t ready to tell Gabriel that.

Gabriel quickly got to work on the rest of the cuts. Sam was grateful that he wasn’t taking his time, it wasn’t as comfortable as his upper body had been. It felt… _weird_.

“All done. Go put on the night clothes Cas found and I’ll show you where my bedroom is.”

Sam quickly got his clothes back on, happy to be covered up again as he followed Gabriel to his bedroom.

“It’s not much…but it’s enough for me.” Sam looked around. It was fairly small - there was barely enough room on the floor for the mattress - but Cas had managed it. It was still very… _Gabriel._ The walls were covered in posters, pictures, paintings, drawings, and several other things, and the bedspreads were bright orange.

Sam let out a small, amused laugh that turned into a smile. “I like it”

“Really?” Gabriel sounded surprised.

“Yes, it suits you.” It really did. Sam could never imagine Gabriel in a plain room, it just wasn’t him.

“Thank you, kiddo.” Gabriel had one of those small, yet happy, smiles. Those had always been Sam’s favorite.

Sam went to lay down on the mattress. “Hey-hey-hey, kiddo! what do you think you’re doing?”

Sam was confused. “Going to bed…?”

“Not there you’re not, you’re sleeping in the bed.” Gabriel pointed to his own bed.

“But it’s-” Sam started, but Gabriel gave him a stern look that shut him right up.

“I’m giving it to you, you need it more than me.”

Gabriel was still looking at him, and Sam opened his mouth to start protesting again, but Gabriel simply raised an eyebrow, daring him to try. Sam sighed and got in the bed.

Gabriel gave a victorious smirk. “I’ll just switch back into my night clothes, I’ll be right back.”

He was only gone for a minute or two, but it still gave Sam enough time to think.

When Gabriel came back he looked at Sam with worry in his eyes. He was obviously trying to hide it, but he wasn’t very successful. Gabriel never let anyone know how vulnerable he was, but Sam could see through it, though he never told anyone. Keeping up the strong facade meant a lot to Gabriel, Sam knew that.

“Gabriel…” Sam started carefully.

“Yes kiddo?”

Sam swallowed before he continued. “I’m ready to tell you what happened now.”

Gabriel paused before he sat down on the mattress and looked at Sam. “Okay, kiddo, tell away.”

Sam adjusted so that he was facing towards Gabriel.

First Sam tried saying it while looking at Gabriel, but he his mouth wasn’t working so he looked down at his hands instead.

“It was Dad.” Sam mumbled it, but the sharp intake of breath told him that Gabriel had heard him just fine.

Sam looked behind himself when tears started forming in his eyes.

“He…he’s done…stuff before. Never this bad, and...and…Dean usually steps in before it gets _really_ bad.”

Sam could hear Gabriel moving and looked up to see him walking towards him. Gabriel sat down on the bed next to him and put his arm over his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry this had to happen to you. If…if I’d known…I’d have done something.” Gabriel sounded broken, and for once he wasn’t trying to hide it.

Sam leaned towards Gabriel and put his head on his shoulder. “It’s okay, I’m okay. There’s more to it though.”

Sam could feel Gabriel tense up, but he didn’t say anything so Sam continued.

“I was talking to a friend on the phone. I thought dad was out, so I said…I talked about…a _guy._ ”

“A crush?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah…. Dad wasn’t happy about that. ‘I won’t have any fags in this family’ he said.” Sam was tearing up a lot now, but he continued. If he stopped he’d probably never get back to it.

“We were in the kitchen. There was a mug of coffee, he…threw it at me. It broke, and I got glass shards all over. And the coffee, it burned me really bad, as you saw. I passed out from the pain. When I came to he was holding a bloody knife. I was sore all over…and…the look on his eyes. I felt sure he was gonna kill me. But then Dean came home. He managed to get Dad off me, but he got a beating for it himself. It didn’t take long before Dad was unconscious; he’d had too much to drink, as always. Dean grabbed me, and we left.“

“We were gonna try Bobby’s place first, but then we realized that that would be where Dad would look first. He’s never met you guys, and Dean doesn’t talk about Cas to him - he hasn’t said it out loud, but I’m certain it’s because he’s afraid Dad’ll figure out his crush - and I never talk to dad, so we figured it would be our best bet. We didn’t have the car, and dad had the keys, so it took a while to walk over here, and we needed several breaks because I was so sick, but we eventually made it.” Sam went quiet, tears flooding down his face.

Gabriel pulled Sam tighter towards him. Sam put his head on Gabriel’s chest. Gabriel pulled him even closer.

“Holy crap kiddo, you can’t…you can’t go back there.” Gabriel sounded scared. Sam realized he was scared on his behalf. It felt nice to have someone care about him, but he didn’t like making Gabriel feel that way.

“He’s hardly ever home, he usually just comes every other week for money and then pisses off somewhere else. I have no idea where. Neither does Dean, or he’s not telling me.” Sam’s voice was muffled since he was speaking into Gabriel’s chest, but Gabriel seemed to hear him fine

“He takes your money?” Gabriel sounded appalled.

“Dean’s” Sam corrected. “Dad can’t hold a job. He gets pissy and lashes out at people: customers, co-workers, bosses, anyone. So he takes Dean’s money and drinks it away. I don’t like it, but it’s better than the alternative.”

“What’s the alternative?”

“Having him around all the time”

Gabriel gulped. “I can see that. You know, you could…you could stay here. It’s not really meant for more than 2 people, and we don’t know each other that well, but it’s got to be better than having anything to do with your dad.”

Sam thought about that. It would be nice - really nice - but he didn’t want to leave Dean alone either. “Maybe. I’ll think about it, and maybe talk to Dean about it too.”

“He can stay too.”

Sam looked up at Gabriel and he saw all the concern in his eyes. It made Sam smile. “Thanks Gabriel, I really appreciate that.”

“…Do…do you want to hear why me and Cas ran away?” Sam perked his head up. He never imagined Gabriel would ever share that. Not the way he usually shut in on himself whenever someone asked about his life before. Sam was sure almost no one even knew he’d run away.

“Really? Yes, if you’re willing to tell.”

“I am, though it may be a bit…surprising for you. Well…some of it.” Gabriel looked so uncertain of himself. He looked...small. Gabriel never looked small, his presence could usually take up a whole room. Now he looked like a tiny ant that could be crushed by any passer by. Sam hated it.

“Okay...just, whatever you want.” Sam didn’t know what else to say.

“The abuse and neglect part isn’t that surprising I guess, though most the abuse was from one of my older brothers, Lucifer. Yes he’s really called that; my parents were right when they gave him his name. My parents neglected us. Not money wise, we always had enough money, but they didn’t care. Luci turned violent, they didn’t care. Anna tried to kill herself, they didn’t care. Michael…he was so obsessed with doing what our parents wanted him to, obsessed with getting their approval, but they never noticed him.”

Gabriel took a deep breath. Sam could tell that he was nervous.

“My parents were very religious, as you could probably tell from our names, and they weren’t the good kind of religious either. And…I wasn’t…I was born…assigned…I’m not…”

Gabriel couldn’t finish the sentence, so Sam decided to guess. “You’re trans*?”

Gabriel looked up at him, shock in his eyes. “How…?” His mouth kept moving, but no sounds came out.

Sam shrugged; he’d kinda had a suspicion for a while, but never said anything about it.

“Your wording…and I guess there’s been some signs. I just haven’t thought too much of it.”

Gabriel looked really unsure of himself. Like he could break at any second.

“No one I know knows anything, I swear.”

“You’re sure?” Sam could see tears forming in Gabriel’s eyes.

Sam gave him a reassuring smile. ”I’m certain.”

Gabriel seemed to believe him, and he took a large breath before he continued.

“Well…I was supposed to find a husband, have several kids, and raise them all to be perfect Christians, but I refused to do that. They…they made me wear dresses, and I would switch into pants the first chance I got. They wanted me to grow my hair long, but I always cut it myself every time I got hold of a pair of scissors. It looked terrible, but it was better than long hair. I just couldn’t take it. And then Cas stupidly said that he didn’t want to marry anyone, or have kids. That was the first time in years my parents had actually cared about something. They threw him out; he was 14. I couldn’t...I couldn’t leave him alone. I stole all the cash my parents had locked up in the safe and I went with him. I used a lot of the money to buy all the required fake ID so that I could buy us a place to live. And we ran.”

Sam didn’t know what to say.

“I’d been stealing from them for years. I managed to get hormone suppressants on the black market so that I wouldn’t reach puberty. My parents never knew, they just thought I was a late developer. And when we ran away I got access to hormone replacements.“

Sam pulled Gabriel closer to him and hugged him. He didn’t know what else to do. He could feel his shirt getting wet.

Sam could feel his voice faltering, but he spoke anyway. “I’m really sorry this had to happen to you.”

“Well…it’s not like you have it any better…” Gabriel choked out.

Sam chuckled “We make quite the depressing pair, don’t we?”

“Yeah.”

They sat like that for a while. Neither saying anything, just holding each other.

“Seems odd, throwing someone out just for not wanting to get married at 14. Who does?”

“Yeah, though there wasn’t as much saying, more screaming and punching. It may have been more the way he said it… Though he was more opposed to it than what’s seen as normal I guess.”

“Really? Do you...do you know why?” Sam tried.

“He…before Dean…he was kinda repulsed by the idea. I still think he kinda is, at least with anyone but Dean, and he’s…he’s repulsed by sex…even with Dean. He told me once.” Gabriel stopped for a moment before he added. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Promise.”

They didn’t say anything more, just sat there, hugging. Sam could feel his T-shirt getting wetter.

“I…” Sam couldn’t get the words out.

Gabriel lifted his head and looked up at him. “What is it kiddo?”

“I think…I mean…I’m not _repulsed_ by sex… but I…I don’t know. Everyone else my age is talking about how much they want to have sex and I’m just…I don’t know. I just don’t _care_ about it. I don’t _want_ it, and I _should_ want it, but I _don’t_ , and it feels...like there’s something _wrong_ with me.”

Gabriel looked up at him. “There nothing wrong with you.”

Sam couldn’t quite believe him. “But what is it then?”

“You’re probably asexual. That’s what Cas is, just in a different way.”

“What’s that?”

“Well…it’s different for different people, but the general definition is ‘doesn’t experience sexual attraction’. Some are repulsed by it, some are indifferent to it, and some even want sex. And there’s many other things that are different too. There’s also Demisexual, and gray-asexual, and lithosexual, and more.”

“I guess that might fit, but I still…”

“You can still have crushes and fall in love with people, you just don’t want the sex part.”

“Oh…then I guess that’s what I am.”

Gabriel put his head back on Sam’s chest. After a while Sam realized that Gabriel had fallen asleep. He didn’t want to disturb him, so he lay down and brought Gabriel with him. Gabriel cuddled into him in his sleep. Maybe it wasn’t the way he’d imagined cuddling him for the first time, but it still felt good.


	2. Winter

Gabe normally loved snow, but right now he really hated it. He’d recently had to get a new job because the bakery he’d worked at got closed down while he was on holiday because of a health inspection. He’d _never_ trust his job to anyone else again, even if he’d have to work his ass off.

The new job was actually better than his old one: better hours, nicer people, and more money. But it was also a 45-minute bus ride from home, unlike his old one, which had been a 10-minute walk. And now it was snowing so badly that all the buses had been cancelled until the weather and streets had cleared. So he was walking home, in a snowstorm. So right now, he _really_ hated snow.

He’d been walking for about an hour. He wasn’t even half way, and he already felt like he was about to freeze to death. He regretted not bringing any warmer clothes, but how was he supposed to know it would end up this bad?

He saw a figure walking towards him. He couldn’t see much beyond their outline, but he could tell that they were tall, and wearing a lot of clothes. When the figure was about 6 feet in front of him they yelled out: “Hi! Gabe.”

That got Gabe’s attention. The storm was so loud that he couldn’t tell who it was by the voice, but considering the height, it was probably Sam.

It was over a year since Sam had almost been killed, and he’d spent most his time with the Novaks since. He still spent some time at home, but only when he was sure his dad wouldn’t be there. Dean still slept at his home, but he spent a lot more time at Cas’. It was nice, being close to Sam. They still shared the room, but it was also frustrating being so close to him and wanting more.

“Hi, Sam” they were only a foot apart now and Gabe could actually tell for sure it was him. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard the bus was cancelled, and since you stubbornly refused to dress up properly I decided to bring you some clothes.”

Gabe felt like his heart was about to pop out off his chest. Why did Sam have to be so perfect? It wasn’t fair. “You’re too good to me Sammy”

“I know.”

Arrrgh…he gave that smirk off his that made Gabe just want to kiss him and never let him go. His crush was really bad, but he could handle it. Hopefully. Maybe.

He was screwed.

“Here’s a jacket and a scarf for you” Sam handed him the things and Gabriel put them on.

“Did you really walk all the way over here?” Gabe could swear he saw Sam blush, but maybe his mind was playing tricks on him.

“Ehh…yeah.”

“You really are perfect.”

Sam smiled so bright at that. His face just lit up, and those _dimples_.

Yep, definitely screwed.

The rest of the walk home felt a lot quicker than the first part, even though it was actually twice as long. He and Sam talked about their days. Sam had been to the doctor for his monthly appointment. He was still recovering from what his Dad had done to him, although the doctor had told him that he wouldn’t have to come in for another three months unless something happened.

Gabe talked about an annoying kid and his mom who had been in. He had been screaming about wanting cake and the mom had just let him scream. Eventually Gabe had thrown them out; he had other customers to worry about.

They also talked about anything that took their fancy, and before they knew they were back home.

The storm had cleared enough for them to see the figures exiting the house from quite a distance. “Guess Dean popped over today.”

Sam made a thinking grimace. “Weird, I thought he had a date today.”

“Maybe he…well I guess that answers that question.” Dean had leaned down and kissed Cas. The kiss got pretty heated.

Sam snorted. “About time.”

“Agree with you there, kiddo, but I’m kinda freezing my ass off.”

Gabe walked to the kissing pair and slapped them on their backs. They jumped apart.

“Well, look who finally pulled their shit together.”

Dean turned red instantly. “Gabe…Sam…ehm…”

“Sorry for interrupting your amazingly steamy make-out session, but I’m freezing my ass off and I _really_ wanna get inside.”

“I…eh right. I’ll just…I’ll just…I gotta go home. Bye Cas.”

Dean gave Cas another peck on the lips before he practically bolted to the car.

“I think you could have been a bit more gentle about that.” Gabe heard Sam say behind him.

“I’m cold.” Gabe pouted. Sam just shook his head and went inside.

“Sorry Cas” Sam added on the way inside.

Gabe followed Sam inside, and they got their outerwear off. 5 minutes later, Cas came in and went straight to his room, not even looking at Sam or Gabe who were sitting in the living room.

“Think I upset him?”

“I’m sure you upset him.”

“Why?”

“Because Dean’s terrified of anything that threatens his masculinity, and making out with a guy does that. Cas is scared that Dean won’t want to do it again.”

“Oh…” Gabe was feeling bad. Cas meant a lot to him and seeing him unhappy was pretty heart breaking. He’d never seen Cas happier than when he was with Dean. “Should I apologize?”

“I’m not sure it’s gonna help, unless you can make sure that Dean’s not gonna leave him.”

Gabe picked out his cell phone.

“What are you doing?”

“What you said.”

*Click* “DEAN-O!!!!” Sam was trying to take his phone away, but Gabe was holding him at bay.

“Gabe, what are you…?”

“I just wanted to tell you to get your ass over here and stop Cas from crying his eyes out because he thinks you’re gonna leave him now.”

“Why would he think that?” Gabe could hear that Dean was worried.

“’Cause that’s how you roll, so get your ass over here right now, you idiot.”

Dean was back 5 minutes later and didn’t even bother knocking; he just came in and headed straight for Cas’ room.

“I’m really happy the kid’s ace now, or else I’d have to make sure they didn’t get up to anything.”

Sam chuckled, but soon turned serious. “Do you think Dean knows?”

Gabriel considered it. “I don’t think Cassie would have agreed to go out with Dean-o unless he knew, but we should still make sure.”

Sam nodded. “But let’s do it afterwards.”

“Okay.”

-o-O-o-

Cas was shocked when Dean came through the bedroom door.

“Dean? What are…”

He didn’t get to finish the question before Dean’s lips were on his. Cas’ lips soon complied.

When they separated Dean looked him straight in the eyes. Cas felt like he could get lost in those eyes. “I’ll never leave you, okay?”

Cas looked away from Dean. “You can’t know that.”

Dean took Cas’ face in his and turned it towards himself so that he could kiss Cas again. “Yes I do, I love you, and I want to stay with you forever.”

“You love me?” Cas heard his voice break, but he didn’t care. Dean had never said that before.

“Yes, I love you so god damn much. I’ve never felt anything like this before, not even a small crush, and then you came into my life, and I was taken. I don’t care that you’re a guy, I don’t care that we can’t have sex, I just want you.”

Cas smiled, and he could feel a few tears running down his cheeks. He took Dean’s face into his hands and pulled him into another kiss.

“I love you too” was the first thing he said when they separated.


	3. Spring

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOOSE!!!”

Sam blinked his eyes open. “What?”

“You’re 18, so get your fine ass out of bed so that I can spoil you all day long.”

Sam groaned. Gabe was way too cheerful for this early in the morning. “Shouldn’t you be getting me breakfast in bed then?”

“No, I have something for you in the kitchen.”

"What!?"

"You'll see, come on."

Gabe gave one off his knowing smiles and left the room. Sam groaned, but got up. He didn't bother switching out off his nightclothes and dabbled out into the kitchen.

He was rubbing his eyes when he walked in. What he saw when he opened them was not what he’d expected. Not that he’d expected anything, but still… Gabriel had dressed the table with a simple, yet elegant, white tablecloth. There were candles and roses in the middle, and perfectly set plates on either side.

Gabe was looking down at his feet. “I know breakfast isn’t exactly the time to do this, and there’s the age difference, but I really like you...so I wanted to, since you're 18 now, and I’ve wanted to ask you for a while...I just...you can say no if you like, but I’ve liked for 4 years now, so I just had to…”

At first Sam was stunned, but during Gabe’s ramble he walked up to him, put his hands on Gabe’s face and kissed him. It wasn’t a particularly good kiss; Sam hadn’t kissed anyone before, and Gabe was so shocked he couldn’t quite grasp what was going on. Sam ended it fairly quickly and looked at Gabe. At first all he saw was shock, but soon joy started to take over; just profound joy. Soon Sam started smiling too, and leaned down and kissed him again.

This kiss was longer, but it was very calm, just lips moving slowly together. They didn’t separate until they had to pull away for air.

“I liked you from the moment I saw you.” Sam confessed.

“Really?” Gabe didn’t quite seem like he believed it.

“Well, you made quite the impression.”

“Oh?”

“Do you remember? You stacked all the tables in the cafeteria on top of each other and yelled that professor Robinson was racist, and lowering Gordon’s grades because of it. And then you said that he was hitting on the girls in the class, and that you wouldn’t stop until he was punished. I’d never seen anyone stand up against a teacher like that before.”

Gabe snorted. “That was pretty great wasn’t it? He got fired too, so it worked.”

“Yeah, you started a riot. The principal was too scared to not fire him, it was amazing.”

-o-O-o-

They kept talking about everything and anything. Not much was different from normal, except Sam reached his hand out to grab Gabe’s and just held it, sometimes rubbing his thumb over Gabe’s hand. Gabe was so ecstatic over this; Sam actually wanted him. When he was young he never imagined anyone could like a freak like him, how could anyone? But here the most gorgeous kid he’d ever known was talking to him, had kissed him, said he’d liked him for several years. It wasn’t quite believable.

-o-O-o-

Sam was still in awe over Gabe actually liking him. How could such a perfect man actually like someone like him? But there he was. Sam could see the joy all over him, which was what lead him to stretch his hand across the table and take Gabe’s hand in his own. It felt right there. Everything about the whole situation felt right; everything about being with Gabe felt right.

There was a knock on the door, and Sam turned his head towards it. He felt Gabe’s hand retracting and instinctively grabbed it tighter. Gabe let out a laugh at that. “Don’t worry Sambo, I’m just gonna get the door, It’s probably Dean-o and Cassie.”

“Cas was with Dean?”

“Yeah, I said I wanted the house to ourselves when you woke up. They agreed to stay at Dean’s place tonight.”

“Sure that’s safe?”

“It’s one night, what could go wrong.”

Sam wasn’t convinced; he bit his lips nervously when Gabe went to open the door.

Just seconds after he’d opened the door, he heard someone get punched. He quickly turned his head and saw blood already dripping from Gabe’s nose. He couldn’t see who was in the door, but he had a terrible suspicion.

“WHERE IS MY SON?!?!?!”

Sam froze.

He hadn’t heard that voice in 2 and a half years, but it still invoked a terrible fear in him. When he saw John’s foot enter the house his brain kicked into gear and he hid under the table. It wasn’t an ideal hiding spot, but the only one he could get to without John seeing him.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going.” Sam had had never heard Gabriel use that tone of voice before. It left chills down his spine, and not in a good way.

“I’m gonna get my son that you kidnapped from me.” John tried to keep his voice steady, but Sam could hear the shake in it, the slight uncertainty.

“You come into my house,” - Sam heard a determined footstep - “Uninvited,” - Another step. - “You assault me,” - Another. - “And then you accuse me off kidnapping.” - His voice was louder now. - “Who gives you the right?”

Complete, utter, silence.

Sam held his breath. He had no idea what was going on and he didn’t dare to check.

“That’s what I thought, now get away and never come near my house _EVER_ AGAIN.”

Sam heard the door slam shut, and almost instantly Gabe was under the table with him. “Sammy? Are you okay?”

Sam nodded.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, you...eh..you kinda scared me a bit…”

Gabe chuckled. “Yeah...I’ve heard that before. I rarely do that unless I have to, but I felt this was a situation where it was required.”

Sam gave a nervous chuckle. “You were right about that...thanks”

“Nothing to thank for, it’s my fault he found you in the first place. If I hadn’t asked Cas to…”

He was cut off by Sam kissing him. It was like their second kiss, unhurried and careful. When they separated Sam looked him straight in the eyes and smiled.

“I don’t blame you, okay? You couldn’t have known” Sam suddenly stopped, horror draining on him.

“Sam, what’s wrong? Sam?”

“Where’s Dean and Cas?”

“Oh crap. you don’t think he…”

“You remember what he did when he found out that I liked a guy? If he found out that Dean and Cas are dating, what do you think would happen?”

“Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK”

Gabe was livid. He rushed out from under the table and went for the phone. When Sam got out he saw that Gabe’s face was completely white, phone against his ear.

Sam could see him panic more and more as the phone kept ringing.

Sam heard a voice on the other end off the phone.

“Cas! Where are you?”

Sam couldn’t hear Cas’ response, but he could see the horror on Gabe’s face getting worse.

“The hospital? What happened?” Gabriel’s voice was panicked.

Sam couldn’t imagine that being good.

“How’s Dean…”

Gabe’s eyes got bigger, his entire body projecting how panicked he was, which made Sam really worried.

“Oh crap, we’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Gabe was about to go get his stuff when he paused to listen to something Cas said.

“No, we’re both fine. I’ll see you.”

As soon as Gabe hung up Sam started asking. “What happened?”

“They’re in the hospital,. John...he...it got pretty bad. He only went for Dean first, but then Cas tried to stop him, and...John didn’t take too kindly to that.”

“Oh crap” Sam’s mind was livid, replaying memories from when he was attacked himself.

“Dean’s unconscious. He’s gonna need surgery. They don’t know if...if he’s gonna...if he’ll make it.”

Sam only nodded. He couldn’t get his voice to work. Dean was unconscious. Dean...he was always the strong one. He couldn’t...he couldn’t lose him now. He just...he just couldn’t.

Gabe grabbed his hand before they got out the door. They got in Gabe’s car and drove.

The ride was completely silent.

-o-O-o-

It only took about 7-8 minutes to get to the hospital, but for Gabe it felt like an eternity. All the way over there he couldn’t stop blaming himself. Sam might have lost his brother, and Cas his boyfriend, the freaking love of his life, and for what? A few hours alone with Sam…

When they arrived Gabe practically ran out off the car, Sam quickly behind him. They made it to the reception quickly.

“Hello, how may I help you?” The lady at the counter seemed way too happy to be in a hospital, and right then and there it was really pissing Gabe off. He almost wanted to punch her until he heard Sam’s voice behind him.

“We’re looking for Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak.” His voice was quiet and shaking. Gabe suddenly calmed down and took Sam’s hand and slightly squeezed it. Sam squeezed back.

“And what is your relation with Mr. Winchester and Mr. Novak?”

Sam spoke again. “Dean’s my brother, and Cas is his.”

“Well in that case they are in rooms 5 and 6 in the emergency room.”

“Thank you.” Trust Sam to still be polite when his brother might be dying any minute.

They quickly found the rooms, but number 6 was empty. They checked number 5 and saw Cas sitting in the chair next to an unconscious Dean. His head was lying on top of Dean’s chest, and he was clearly crying. Gabe didn’t know what to do. He wanted to comfort his brother, but he also didn’t want to disturb him.

He didn’t get to make that decision before someone poked him on his shoulder. He turned around and saw a doctor standing there.

“Do you know them” The doctor asked quietly, as to not disturb Cas. Gabe only nodded before Sam piped up.

"They're our brothers"

"Oh, Sam and Gabriel, right?"

Both Sam and Gabe nodded at the same time.

"Good. I'm both Dean and Castiel's doctor. We're about to take Dean to surgery, and I think someone should stay with Castiel. The surgery's only going to take about 2 hours, but it's going to feel a lot longer."

Sam looked at the doctor. "Will he..."

"He'll be fine. We deal with a lot worse than this every day, but he won't survive without the surgery."

Sam nodded. "Okay then. Just...get it over with, I guess."

-o-O-o-

It took 3 hours, and the last hour Gabe was watching both his brother and ... _boyfriend?_ falling apart. He wanted to help, but he was just barely holding it together himself. So when the doctor arrived, Gabe flew out of his chair before Sam and Cas even noticed he was there.

“Is he-?” Gabe didn’t know how to finish that question; he was too scared off the answer.

But the doctor smiled at him. “He’s fine. It’ll take him a while to recover, but he’s fine.”

Gabriel could almost feel a weight being physically lifted off his chest. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Sam. His eyes were glazed, he’d been crying a lot, but his smile was one of the brightest Gabe had ever seen.

“Can we...can we see him?”

“Yes, but only one at a time.” Gabe looked at Sam, who looked at Cas. Cas had gotten up and gotten over to them without Gabe noticing.

“Sam, you should go.” Typical Cas, always putting others in front of himself.

Sam shook his head. “You go first.” Cas was about to protest, but Sam lifted his hand to stop him.

“He was mumbling the ‘Cas’ when he woke up, probably still is, so I think you should go see him first.” Gabe couldn’t help but be grateful to the doctor at that moment.

-o-O-o-

“Dean?” Cas didn’t want to be too loud, in case Dean was asleep.

“Hmmm…” Cas let out a small sigh at the familiar sound; he heard it every time he tried to get Dean out off bed, which was no easy feat.

Dean slowly opened his eyes and looked at Cas, small smiles slowly appearing on both their faces. “Hi Cas.” Dean’s voice sounded like he was dreaming and happy.

“Hi Dean.” Cas could feel a tear falling down his cheek, which was quickly joined by several more tears.

“Cas? What’s wrong?” Dean sounded so worried. Cas hated making him feel this way, but he couldn’t seem to stop crying.

“I...I thought...you...I thought I might lose you...and...I...I can’t handle that.” Cas managed to get out between all his sobs.

Dean slowly sat up and gestured for Cas to come over.

Once Cas was close enough, Dean grabbed his face and pulled his mouth to meet his own. Cas was frozen at first, but quickly followed suit. The kiss was slow and gentle, and they didn’t break before they heard Gabe’s undeniable wolf whistle.

“Piss off Gabe.” Dean sounded amused.

“What, and miss the show? I just came to tell you that the doctor said they wanted to keep Cassie overnight to make sure he’s fine, and he’s arranged for you to stay in the same room, as long as you keep to separate beds.” He said the last part with a smirk.

“Okay, can you leave now?” Dean sounded impatient.

“Nah. I want Sammy to see you before we have to head home for the night.” That got Deans attention. He finally took his hands off Cas, which had been resting on his waist and shoulder.

“Send him in then.”

Gabe left the room with a smirk.

-o-O-o-

15 minutes later, Sam and Gabe had to go home. Sam didn’t like it, and he was sure Gabe didn’t either, even though he didn’t say it out loud.

That night the mattress on the floor of Sam and Gabe’s bedroom went unused. They fell asleep cuddled together, both hoping that their brothers really were okay.

At the hospital Cas and Dean had decided to ignore the doctor’s orders and fell asleep in each other’s arm. No one disturbed them; they were too peaceful.


	4. Summer

Sam and Gabe had been together for 6 years, yet it felt a lot longer. Not that surprising seeing how long they’d lived together before. It felt like they knew everything about each other. They always knew what the other wanted.

Except one thing.

Gabe never thought he see the day he’d want to get married, least of all to a man. Yet now he really did, but he didn’t know if Sam felt the same way. He’d tried dropping hints, but Sam didn’t bite. He'd talked to Dean, but he didn't have a clue. He'd tried some of Sam's friends, but they weren't any wiser. It was Charlie who eventually convinced him to just go for it.

So now he was sitting next to his boyfriend trying not to shake with nervousness. It wasn't going well.

“Gabe? What's wrong?” Gabe guessed it was inevitable that Sam would notice, but he'd still hoped he wouldn't.

“Nothing” Gabe could tell how unconvincing he was.

“Don't lie to me.” Sam turned Gabe's face towards his own. Gabe couldn't meet his eyes.

“Please, just tell me.” Sam sounded so worried. Gabe didn't like that, but he was so nervous, and he couldn't say it.

When Gabe didn't answer Sam leaned forward to capture Gabe's lips in a kiss. It was one of the kisses Sam always gave him when they'd be apart for a while. It was so full of love that Gabe almost started crying. He could do this; this was the man he wanted to be with forever.

He reached his hand into his pocket while he was still kissing Sam. He got out the box and held it until they stopped kissing. Sam didn't pull away until they could barely breathe.

Gabe looked at Sam. He looked worried, really worried. Gabe was still nervous, but he decided to just get it over with.

“I was gonna do this really romantically, but I'm too nervous right now.” Gabe practically shoved the box into Sam's chest and then looked away again.

Gabe could hear the box being opened, and then a gasp. Gabe was preparing himself for a rejection when Sam grabbed his face and started kissing him for all he had. Gabe was unresponsive at first but quickly got into it.

When they parted Sam was smiling like a love-struck fool, and Gabe reckoned that that's what he was. Gabe also noticed that Sam was crying. He hoped it was happy tears

“So...you wanna marry me?”

“God yes, you dumb fool.”

They were quickly kissing again. That was one of the things Gabe liked about his relationship with Sam. Kisses were just kisses, they didn't lead to anything more. Sam had often doubted himself in that respect, that they should be doing more, but Gabe had gotten good at reassuring him that he really didn't need more. Eventually Sam had learned to accept that.

-o-O-o-

5 hours later Sam and Gabe had just gone to bed. Gabe had had a massive smile the entire day, and Sam was sure it was matched on his own face.

He turned towards Gabe. "I think I understand Dean and Cas when they got engaged now."

That made Gabe laugh, and Sam quickly joined him.

Sam hadn't thought Dean and Cas could be more lovesick than they were before they got engaged, but he was quickly proven wrong.

"God, imagine the wedding." Sam started laughing even more at that.

The wedding was only 2 weeks and 3 days away. There had been a lot of fuzz over who was going to be invited, since they both came from asshole families. John couldn't be invited anyway since he was in jail after what he did to Dean and Cas. Sam was really happy about that, since he had a feeling Dean would feel guilty if he didn't invite him otherwise, no matter all the crap he did.

Cas' family was a different story. Cas hadn't talked to any off them since he and Gabe ran off, but they were still his family. He had decided to look up how everyone was doing. His parents were both dead, which had hit him bad at first, but he got over it pretty quickly. Lucifer was in jail, so he wasn't an option. Anna was in a mental institution. Cas didn't figure out anything else, and he didn't want to call and ask. Sam knew that Gabe had done so after he found out, but he hadn't told anything, and Sam hadn't asked.

Michael was the surprising part. He'd always been so obsessed with doing everything his family wanted, so finding out that he was married to a man was not something anyone had expected.

After Cas had found out he managed to get back in touch with Michael. Gabe still wouldn't talk to him, but Cas had invited both Michael and his husband to the wedding, so Gabe would at least have to see him. Cas had assured Sam that Michael would be nice, and that whenever they'd talked about Gabe Michael had not once misgendered him, or even questioned it. "Before I even brought Gabriel up, he asked ‘how is Gabriel doing, I've missed him as well’. Michael really has changed." Cas had sounded incredibly happy when he said it.

Even though Gabe knew all this, he still wouldn't talk to Michael, but it had made him okay with Cas inviting him to the wedding. Sam was hoping that Gabe would talk to him there, though he didn't have any expectations.

-o-O-o-

The wedding went like a charm, Dean and Cas both looked lovely, and more love-struck than Gabe thought possible. The pure joy he had seen on their faces made him look forward even more to his own wedding, which was set 6 months later. Gabe hadn't been too fond of having it in the winter, but Sam loved winter, so he was fine with it.

Gabe hadn't let himself believe that Michael had changed, but seeing him walk into the church holding hands with another man, told him that maybe he had. When Michael came up to him and introduced him to his husband as his brother, he started to believe it.

Sam and Gabe ended up spending a lot off the wedding with Michael and his husband, Adam. Gabe never thought that he'd ever feel safe around anyone besides Sam, Dean, or Cas, but he could feel that might happen with Michael and Adam one day.

-o-O-o-

When they were deciding who to invite to their own wedding and Gabe suggested inviting Michael and Adam, Sam simply walked over to him, straddled him, and started kissing him senseless.


	5. Epilogue

** 50 summers later. **

 

“Come on Gabe!”

“I’m 75, I’m not as quick as I used to be”

“You’re 78. If you’re gonna pretend to be younger then at least act like it.”

Gabe made a grimace at Sam. Some things never change.

“We’re here!”

Sam and Gabe stepped out off the car. Not that many people had cars anymore, but Sam liked this one. It was a present for his and Gabe’s 25th wedding anniversary; Dean had restored it himself.

Gabe was first to the door and rang the bell. Sam always liked that doorbell. Not many people had ones without a camera, or all the new fancy stuff being made every week. Sam didn’t care if people called him old fashioned; old stuff felt safe, familiar.

Gabe liked trying out new things, but he didn’t make any changes to the house, only the room he had for all the technical stuff Sam didn’t want any part off. It was a system that worked for both of them.

If Sam was old fashioned, he had nothing on Dean and Cas. Their house had barely changed in the last 50 years, only some health and safety regulations.

-o-O-o-

The day was nice, with only Sam, Gabe, Dean, and Cas.

Michael and Adam were in Europe somewhere. They were travelling all the time; where they got the energy from was beyond any off the 4 friends, even Gabe the energy bubble.

Anna had passed 3 years after Dean and Cas’ wedding. The circumstances were never published, but they all had their suspicions.

Lucifer had been in and out of prison for years until 20 years ago when he’d ended up on death row. He’d escaped from prison 2 years later, but was found dead 3 months after that in a car crash.

John had died in prison. They said it was old age, but Gabe didn’t really care if it was or not.

Bobby had died of old age at 96. Not bad for someone who took as little care of himself as he did, even with all the fancy technology they had to keep people alive even longer these days.

They‘d had other friends over the years of course. Dean had been close to a guy named Benny for while, but he’d disappeared without a trace, suspected dead. A lot of people they’d simply lost touch with: Charlie, Garth, Krissy, Jessica, Balthazar and many others. At their age they didn’t want to try to find them again. They might be dead, and no one wanted that news, so they lived on pretending they were alive and well.

 

** 36 winters. **

 

There was only Gabriel left now. He never imagined he’d live the longest, being the oldest besides Michael. But here he was, alone in a house built for 2, at 114 years old.

Today was the anniversary of his wedding. 86 years. Sam had almost lasted, but he’d passed 6 days ago.

With everyone else gone Gabriel didn’t see the point anymore. What’s the point of living long when you’re alone?

He thought his anniversary was a nice day to rejoin Sam in Heaven. He didn’t know whether he believed in Heaven and Hell, but he’d rather take the chance than living alone. The doctors had said he could go on living for years, said it like it was good news. Apparently having an extra X-chromosome allowed him to live longer. Despite everything his biology still came to bite him in his ass.Why would he want to live alone for years?

-o-O-o-

It was quick, he barely noticed a thing. It really was just like closing his eyes, and then he was 86 years back in time, at the altar.  

Sam looked as gorgeous as ever, but there was something about the suit he’d been wearing that day. It brought out his eyes, those eyes that could never decide on a color Not to mention what it did to his ass.

Gabe could feel his eyes watering. He was here.

Heaven was real.

“Gabe, is that - is that really you?”

Gabe nodded. He couldn’t do anything else, he was crying so much. He was here, he was actually here, and Sam was here with him.

Sam took one long step until he was close enough to hug Gabe.

The hug seemed to last forever, before they finally pulled back far enough to look at each other. “We’re really in heaven?” Sam nodded before leaning down to kiss Gabe. Suddenly they were inside the house they owned together surrounded by the kids they always wanted, but never got to have.

It really was heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, I hope you liked it, please leave kudos and a comment if you did.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr [here](http://buttsp8jr.co.vu)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Art for 'Even When Seasons Change'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3721489) by [stormbrite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormbrite/pseuds/stormbrite)




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